misternathan

i have realized why my happiness will not go away....this adventure that im on....its not like its going away....this ride is everlasting!...its not like i am looking forward to a special event....and then this event comes....and  its over...this transitional adventure im on is a lifetime event....the feeling is just indescribable....i mean i am literally a 13yr old boy growing up to become a man...everything from my childhood makes so much more sense now….the way i acted…my teenage yrs…my early twenties…i understand everything…completely…..i always knew there was something different about me...something wasnt quite right mentally and emotionally....up till this yr...this major life changing experience i am going through.....i  just could not understand...i kept searching for this puzzle that was missing from me......i met this individual some time ago...and i believe it was actually she that helped me start to uncover the wool over my eyes....and to actually see myself for who i am today....sometimes love is blind and you dont actually see it for what its worth.......so...slowly i tore down my being....and i shed myself….peeled off my skin layers…..one by one...then i smashed them on the ground....and then i slowly rebuilt myself to who i am today....i understand who i am now....my purpose of existence on this earth is so clear now....and again this feeling is such a powerful high...its really overwhelming sometimes.....i have to really pinch myself out this "daydreaming" thing i go through sometimes....

i feel like changes happen to me everyday....i am growing...so of course....but some days...things are more apparent than others....for instance..im not going to go into much detail here.....it is kinda personal...lol...my clitoris is growing....its amazing...it gets hard...literally!.....its a very beautiful thing....... then there seems to be dark hair growing on my forearms...i also believe a tiny bit of hair is starting to appear on my sideburns....we took pics of my back....and that is amazing.....its muscular...and the shape is turning into a more masculine physique....there is more dark hair growing around my happy trail...and the most weird change yet....i am starting to grow red hair on my head!...and the hairs around my goatee area are coming in red!....isnt that some shit!....im turning into my dad!...its so fucking amazing....my whole physical being is changing into the man i was born with.....and the most amazing indescribable thing is....im not done growing!......so this is what its like to know your true self....indescribable...

i have a clear picture of what i want to do with my biz…..ideas are coming out…it’s a slow process…but i will get there….its the ride that makes it exciting anyways!....i think i need to ease up the bodybuilding training too…i think i have over trained my muscles just a tad bit…i strained something along my shoulder and neck area…so i have been trying to rest  and take it easy….i was talking to this one dude at the gym today…he gave me some insight and some tips…most important…..rest and recover every other day!...im so stubborn…i push myself way too hard!!!....[sigh!]…....my voice is incredibly deep today!....